I feel more than a little discombobulated. And I don’t know what to do about it.
Last Thursday I pressed Save for the last time, attached the file for Changeling 3 to an email and sent the entire thing off to my publisher.
That’s good, right?
Yes it is good. It means that I have met my deadline; I’ve finished the book that I had the hardest time with, and got it into my editor’s hands in time for her trip to New York. But I feel a bit…weird. I had a similar feeling when I handed over Changeling: Dark Moon. It’s a feeling of disconnection. With this third book I also had a big change to the routine that I’d established with the first two books: finish second draft, put in cupboard for a few weeks, get out and make the changes it will inevitably need, send to agent for feedback and thoughts, THEN send to editor. This time it was: second draft, BANG, off to publisher.
I’m also out of contract with my publishers, and I think that this adds to the mix. However, this aspect of the whole affair has not effected me in quite the way I thought it would. I thought that I would be terrified once I’d handed in the last of the three books that Macmillan signed up with me for. Don’t get me wrong, there is a certain amount of fear and trepidation in my mind about this, but there’s also a chunk of relief too. A kind of freedom.
There’s something else. I have an argument going on inside my head that is making me a little unsettled: part of me wants to just stop for a week or so, not write anything, let my brain just wind down a little. The other part of me is urging me to get cracking on something else – strike while the iron is hot and all that jazz. I’m not sure which side is right, and I’ll feel bad regardless of which one I come down on.
I suspect that all of these feelings and emotions have been felt countless times by writers. That it’s entirely normal, and that in a few days I’ll get my equilibrium back. But for now I’ll just have to put up with the push-me-pull-you state of affairs and see what happens next.
I should take a rest. You'll recoup your energies and be better prepared to go at the next thing when you do start it. I'm in the same situation as you, more or less, and it is a bit weird, but fingers crossed we'll both get new deals and on to bigger and better things!
Also remember: you'll soon have three books to promote. Now's the time to book some school visits!
Congratulations on Book Three. I'm jealous as all hell. My own book one refuses to get out of my head and on to the page in a satisfactory way. *sigh*
Anyway, don't worry about another book deal. I'm sure when book two hits the stands Macmillan will be on the phone offering another three book deal or more! Enjoy the time off while you can, lord knows it's bound to be over all too quickly!
Thank you both for your comments. I've just heard from my agent, and she likes book 3 {phew}. Just hope that my editor likes it now.
Malcolm – keep the faith. I'm sure that your book will turn out great if you just persevere with it.